Growing up

‘Tell me something you regret…’

‘Growing up.’

‘When did that happen?’

‘When I stopped looking for happiness in your eyes and started finding it in your pants.’

The most innocent thing I ever knocked the shit outta’?

The most innocent being I ever knocked the shit out of?

My wall…

Half past midnight.

In the depths of the darkness of my room

I couldn’t see it

but

i could

hear

it.

The wall was screaming

like a whore on extasy

or

like a sinner in agony

i couldn’t tell.

The sound leaked through my pores

and

blared into my veins.

I stood up and punched it as hard as I could

but

it just wouldn’t stop.

So I kicked it and punched it and kicked it again.

It kept on screaming, howling, shouting…

Then suddenly it stopped.

and the silence started eating my fingers when

my fists started swelling,

my legs pulsing

my eyes draining

and

my lips mumbling:

“Forgive me father, for I have sinned

…

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea exacerbata culpa”